Dear Friends,

It is our honor to share a preview of the most significant day in our lives – our wedding day!

A traditional Jewish wedding is a tapestry woven from many threads: biblical, historical, mystical, cultural and legal. Threads carried from one generation to the next, forming a chain of Jewish continuity which goes back more than 3,800 years. On the cosmic level, our sages teach that each marriage ceremony is a reenactment of the marriage between G‑d and the Jewish people that took place at Mount Sinai, and that the wedding day is a personal Yom Kippur—the holiest and most auspicious day of one's life.

But a marriage is also an intricate legal transaction, by which bride and groom enter a mutually binding commitment. The rituals and traditions of the Jewish wedding derive from both its legalistic particulars and its underlying spiritual themes—the body and soul of the Jewish wedding.

Kabbalat Panim – Cocktail Hour Pre-Ceremony Reception

The Jewish wedding traditionally begins with a special "kabbalat panim"—reception—in honor of the bride and groom. Our sages tell us that on their wedding day, the bridegroom is like a king and the bride is like a queen. Special powers are granted to them from On High; they are made sovereign over their own lives and over their surroundings. All their previous sins and failings are forgiven, and they are empowered to chart a new future for themselves and bestow blessing and grace to their loved ones and friends. It is to honor their special status that we hold a reception for them, as for visiting royalty.

Two separate receptions are held in adjacent rooms, one for the bride and another for the groom. By tradition, the bride and groom refrain from seeing each other for a full week prior to their wedding, so as to increase their love and yearning for each other, and their subsequent joy in each other at their wedding. They will meet again only at the badeken (veiling ceremony) that follows the reception.

The bride sits on a distinctive, ornate throne-like chair. Her friends and family approach, wish Mazal Tov, and offer their heartfelt wishes and words of encouragement. At the groom's reception, songs are sung, and words of Torah are often delivered. Hors d'oeuvres, refreshments, and l'chaims are served.

This occasion is used to complete and sign two of the wedding documents: the tenai'm ("engagement" contract) and the ketubah (marriage contract). At the conclusion of the reading of the tena'im, the mothers of the bride and groom break a china or glass plate, to the joyous shouts of Mazal Tov!

Badeken – The Veiling Ceremony

After the kabbalat panim receptions comes the badeken, the veiling ceremony. A procession headed by the groom goes to the bridal reception room, where the groom covers the bride's face with a veil.

The custom of covering the bride's face with a veil originated with our matriarch Rebecca, who covered her face when meeting her groom, Isaac.

The veil emphasizes that the groom is not solely interested in the bride's external beauty, which fades with time, but rather in her inner beauty, which she will never lose. It also emphasizes the innate modesty that is a hallmark of the Jewish woman. The bride's face remains veiled for the duration of the chupah ceremony, affording her privacy at this holy time.

After the groom veils the bride, the parents of the bride and groom approach the bride and bless her. The groom's entourage then retreats from the room. The bride and groom proceed with their chupah preparations and everyone else continues to the site of the chupah, the marriage canopy.

Chupah— The Marriage Ceremony

The chupah is a canopy which sits atop four poles and is usually ornately decorated. The marriage ceremony takes place beneath this canopy which is open on all sides. This is a demonstration of the couple's commitment to establish a home which will always be open to guests, as was the tent of Abraham and Sarah.

Our custom is for the chupah to be held beneath the open skies. This recalls G-d's blessing to Abraham that his descendants be as numerous as the stars. Furthermore, a chupah held under the open heavens symbolizes the couple's resolve to establish a household which will be dominated by "heavenly" and spiritual ideals.

The chupah ceremony is traditionally characterized by an air of solemnity. This is due to an acute awareness of the awe and magnitude of the moment.

It is customary in certain communities for the groom to wear a kittel, a long white frock, during the chupah. The pristine white kittel traditionally worn on Yom Kippur, and the bride's white gown, are symbols of G‑d's atonement and perfect purity.

Indeed, the Shechinah, Divine Presence, graces the presence of every chupah ceremony. Joining also, are the deceased grandparents and great-grandparents of the bride and groom, who descend from their heavenly abode to join the wedding celebration. The assembled audience is expected to demonstrate appropriate consideration for this holy occasion.

Dinner & Dancing

Participating in a wedding feast and gladdening the hearts of the bride and groom on their special day is a great mitzvah. The Talmud relates that the greatest sages set aside their otherwise never-interrupted Torah study for the sake of entertaining a new couple with song and dance.

When the bride and groom emerge to join their guests, they are ceremoniously greeted with music, singing and dancing. The men with the groom, and the women with the bride, traditionally dance in separate circles; a mechitzah (partition) is placed between the men's and women's dancing circles. The singing and dancing continue throughout the reception.

A hallmark of the traditional Jewish wedding is that everyone is encouraged to participate in the dancing and merrymaking. Every guest is seen as a part of the larger community, which includes every Jewish soul throughout the generations. A Jewish marriage, which creates a link between all the past generations and all the future generations, is therefore regarded as much more that a private milestone for the couple and their families; it is a historic and momentous event for the community at large.

After the first dance, the bride and groom take their seat at the head table alongside their parents, grandparents, the rabbi, and any other dignitaries in attendance. Traditionally, the groom recites the hamotzie blessing on an oversized challah which is then sliced and shared with the crowd.

The wedding meal is followed by the Grace after Meals and the recitation of the Sheva Brachot, the same seven blessings recited beneath the chupah.

The seven blessings which draw Divine blessings for the duration of the couple's married life are recited over a cup of wine. There exists a deep mystical connection between wine and marriage.

Wine gladdens the heart. But in order to produce this heart-gladdening beverage, a grape must be crushed. Married life is full of crushing moments—the key is to together overcome those challenging occasions, which leads to new levels of love and happiness.

A beautiful event has now reached its conclusion, and a solid foundation of joy and blessing has been laid for the eternal edifice that is the Jewish home.

We look forward to having you share in our great joy on this special day!

- Mendel & Chayale

Registry

Mendel and Chayale can also receive wedding gifts via Zelle: goldman.mendel@gmail.com